This is my family, part 798

I talked to my mom on the phone last night, catching up on recent events: my sister reuniting with an estranged boyfriend, a cousin who had a car accident but is fine now, no one knowing what my youngest brother will do with himself next year.

"We took the grandkids to the mall today. You know they love to see the Christmas train," she told me. "Hang on, your dad wants to tell you about it." She handed over the phone.

"So I took B. [my nephew] over to see Santa, but you know how he loves to run around Lakeside Shopping Center. That boy will run around like crazy anywhere he goes. Next thing you know, I can't find him," my dad tells me.

"I look around, and there he is talking to a security guard. And as I walk closer, I can hear them.

"'What's wrong, young man?' the security guard asks B. And he says, 'I can't find my PaPa.'" [PaPa is what the kids call my dad.]

"So the security guard says, 'What's your PaPa like?' And B. tells him, "Cold beer and big tits.'"

It actually takes me a second to realize that this isn't one of my dad's cute stories about the grandkids, this is meant as a joke. I have to do a mental blink. Then I do an obviously fake laugh.

"Boy, Dad, you're hilarious."

"Isn't that great? Let me put your Mom on the phone."

That's not what was funny. This is what was funny:

My mom took over the phone.

"You know, he has told that joke to a dozen people since your Uncle Jerry sent it to him yesterday. No -- more than a dozen. Twenty, at least."

Now I laughed for real. "That doesn't surprise me a bit."

"The minute he saw that joke, he picked up the phone. Called all his brothers, and your brother ... and he threatened to call up and tell Father X [principal of the school where my brother works]. I think that's all he's done the past couple of days, is tell that joke to anyone he can find. I'm surprised he didn't call you himself."

My dad finds one joke he likes, and everyone he knows has to hear it. Not only that, but I am sure the next time he's at a social event, everyone will hear it again. And maybe again. The joke may get fancier as it travels. And he did end up telling Father X the joke, much to my brother's faux-mortification. Thank goodness my dad doesn't know anyone in my office, I told my mom, and she agreed.

This is my family. Some things never change.

Posted at December 14, 2007 10:00 AM