here I am, again

So I took a deep breath and looked around me and it was already Day Two of Holidailies, and go go go, I'm the damn owner of the site, can't I even post anything at all? But I have a very vocal to-do list in my head and it calls to me: one interview to transcribe, two reviews to write, at least three presents to buy since remember, you've got to get them in the mail by Saturday and imagine what the post office will be like on Saturday, I don't want to think about it, I will be in denial. And have I made the appointment yet to have my hair cut? I have not. Or to have the oil changed? Denial, denial, we need a holiday carol for denial.

My arms are still feeling noodly from my early-morning training session at the gym and I really could have used an extra hour of sleep and I am rushing to make lunch and check that I paid our credit-card bill and reassure the Slackerwood contributors that the press screening we are all excited to attend is on Thursday, not Friday, my mistake, and don't forget the kitty litter box and the vitamins and hey, why not wash some grapes for an afternoon snack? and oh, crap, when did it get to be 9:20 am and isn't it a bad idea to be late for a 9:30 meeting in your first month of employment? Give the husband a quick hug on the way out and tell him you aren't sure what time you'll be home, it could be 6 pm or 10 pm, see you then, sweetie.

This has been the way my life has been moving since the Thanksgiving holiday ended: a new job that requires I learn a new product to write about and some old software to relearn; freelance film writing and one last freelance web design project; stacks of movies to watch on DVD and in theaters so I can vote on awards with the local film critics group; project after project, like little leeches, always needing One More Thing. And Holidailies. Not enough sleep, not enough gym time, too many french fries, meals eaten in the car. There's an odd sort of pride: look at me, I am such an important person that I have to eat my lunch in the car! Urgh.

Here is my husband,who has a bunch of leeching projects of his own, but who snuggles up with me at 10 pm as we watch silly TV shows together. Here is my cat, who won't sit on our laps while we watch TV but will sometimes sit near us, and that's about all we can expect from him. Push away the Oscar-bait movies and the overdue projects and laptops and stop, breathe, make a little room for what is actually important. Get the mint chocolate chip ice cream out of the freezer, lament the lack of new Burn Notice episodes, put on Community instead. Pull out the blanket where my husband sat on it, let's have foot massages, roll our eyes at Jack Black telling us about mammograms, and enjoy the best part of the day.